Below are questions that frequently come up when dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Why do we have funerals?
It’s important to recognize that funerals are for the living….for those who will suffer the trauma of losing a loved one. It is through the funeral process that a number of emotional needs are met for those who grieve.
The funeral is similar to many other ceremonies during an individual’s life, such as births, religious ceremonies, graduations and weddings. All of these ceremonies recognize an important event that distinguishes our lives.
The funeral declares that a death has occurred and commemorates that a life has been lived. It allows not only the family but friends and associates the opportunity to pay tribute to their loved one. The visitation and funeral is a gathering that helps to provide emotional support. This support will help those who grieve and to face the reality of death and help them to take the first step toward a healthy emotional adjustment.
Denial is a natural part of the grieving process and until the person with this denial truly accepts that the death has occurred, no progress can be made in resolving their grief.
Research indicates that viewing the body of the deceased helps to fulfill the psychological needs of those who are in denial.
Why prearrange your funeral?
….because it is so important to you.
Reasons for making prearrangements are:
- “It’s easier to do now than when the death occurs.”
- “I don’t want my family to have to scramble for information or make tough choices at the time of my death.”
- “I don’t want my family to have to pay for it.”
- “Mother, Dad, or I am going on Public Aid and need to prefund the funeral now.”
Planning ahead makes good sense. It is the same type of preplanning we have been doing all of our lives. We preplan our education, our insurance needs, savings, home and auto purchases, vacations and retirement. More and more people are preplanning their funerals.
Prearranging your funeral allows you to think more clearly about the decisions you will be making. It can be done at your convenience and with others so that you are not doing it alone. Many of the details needed at the time of death are obscure and may not be known by others in the family. The best person to provide the needed information is you.
The prearrangement process can be very brief and simple. It may just a meeting to get your personal information so it is on record at the funeral home. Others choose to give this information and to pick out merchandise and pay for the service and merchandise in advance. This type of prearrangement not only can save your family from unexpected financial needs, but it can provide tomorrow’s funeral at today’s prices.
One of Pulliam Funeral Home’s highest priorities is to serve families at one of the most difficult times in their lives. In keeping with this priority, we offer families and individuals the opportunity to make important arrangements prior to their time of need.
Please call Tim at the funeral home and schedule an appointment to discuss your needs or to answer any questions you have.
What to do if a death occurs away from home?
Simple ………….. Call us first ………….. 618-592-4221
This is a common concern of people today as we become more and more a mobile society. Careers and travel take many of us to all corners of the country. Retirement communities are all over the country and more and more people are moving to them.
So what do you do, if a loved one dies while away from home? Easy, just call us first yourself or have the facility where the death occurred in call us. We will take care of everything and be in constant contact with you. We will be an extension of your family and will treat you and your loved one just like family.
Grief Counseling: What is grief? Why seek help?
Grief includes feelings of shock, denial, numbness, anger, depression, deep sadness and finally hope.
Sharing your grief with others often leads to healing and recovery. A support group is a safe place to share your feelings about your personal life.
Grief Relief’s environment for healing offers emotional support and education through the development of support groups, one -on-one facilitations or counseling as needed, led by trained volunteers who have suffered a loss.
Resources, including a lending library of books, publications, music, and video tapes dealing with a variety of topics pertaining to grief is available in the Grief Relief Room at Crawford Memorial.
For information or questions, please contact:
GRIEF RELIEF Grief Facilitator, Shari L. Bruneau Crawford Memorial Hospital 1000 N. Allen Street Robinson, Illinois 62454 618-544-5494You may also find information and support on the GriefNet.org and Grief Watch websites.
How can I show I care?
Attend The Services…
Your presence, a hug, saying “I’m sorry” or “I care” is all that is necessary.
Grieve Yourself…
Don’t be afraid to cry with the bereaved.
Share…
‘Your’ memories.
Remember…
Grief is a process that goes well beyond the withering of the flowers…
Call, Visit, Invite in/out, Try again, LISTEN, Acknowledge feelings,
Remember Holidays, Anniversaries, Be yourself, Respect, LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.
How are children affected by the loss of a loved one?
When a death occurs in a family or to someone close, it is a tragic experience. It is never forgotten, even by a child. Children, however, are often overlooked during times of bereavement. Sometimes adults think children do not understand or they will get over it quickly because they are young. These attitudes ignore the grief children experience.
Each child reacts differently to death. A death experience may make some children more mature when they are suddenly forced to accept more responsibility, while other children may become disobedient and hostile.
Sometimes after a death, children need and want to talk about it with someone their own age, but sometimes other children are not willing to listen. Most of the time, this is caused because they do not understand what the bereaved is feeling. As a result, a child who has experienced a death may sometimes wonder if he or she is the only one to feel this way.
Children need to be helped and supported by everyone, young and old. The first thing people can do is to start telling children about death at an early age. Use the child’s interest in a dead insect or pet to help them understand that death is forever. People confuse children by using words such as “passed away or lost” instead of “dead” to describe a deceased loved one. This gives the child the idea that death is temporary.
To share grief with and include children makes it easier for everyone. Children are human beings that need support and attention while experiencing the death of a loved one. Never forget the grieving children.
